Oh hell that soup caused me sooo much bloating because of the high sodium. And then I started to eat other random things in the cupboard… Tomorrow is a new day! Just gotta stop eating so much at night.
I look in the mirror everyday and pick out the parts of my body I hate, the parts that carry the most fat, and the parts I just want to get rid of. I long to have a skinny body again, but not to the sick point. I just want to lose this extra fat I gained during recovery because it just makes me feel even worse about myself. I’m not happy. I cry and beat myself over how much fat I put on instead of muscle like I planned. No matter how much I exercise, no matter how clean I’ve been eating, nothing is happening and I just feel horribly disgusting in my skin.
During this weekend for Oktoberfest, I met some amazing people, well mostly Canadians. These guys made my first drinking Oktoberfest a hoot! I wouldn’t of asked for a different turn out. Yesterday we watched a band from Canada named The Craig & Ash band and they were amazing, and they loved me because I was dancing, having the time of my life, and they kept telling me how beautiful I am and how they loved my blue eyes. Ugh, I had so much fun!!